Well, I just published something and it is telling me I have gone live. Have I stepped into the world of blogging? Guess so.
My first blog was written in haste, not perfect, I read it back when published and noticed all the ‘i’ that I had not capitalised.
I am still scared, I can feel my heart beating in my chest, but I have made that first step.
Months ago, when I considered this first weekend, when my kids were at their Dad, I promised myself I would start a blog, what type of blog, I mulled over on and off. I over-thought it and now that I have sat down to do this I am going with the flow.
I spent today organising, staying busy, removing the clutter and reclaiming my home, I haven’t felt myself in my home for …. actually never…. no, when we first moved here I was full of optimism, I can’t remember when that disappeared.
I have just left a 19 year relationship with a complex and damaged man, probably narcissist, in totally denial that his mentally traumatic childhood was still affecting him. Living with him was draining/exhausting/heart breaking/painful/unstable/impossible. It took me eons to workout I could not fix it.
I am free now but have this underlying terror because my kids aren’t with me, the panic starts to set in if I focus too much on missing them. But also, I living with a hope and vitality that I thought I had lost.
Daizy Frazer 